Light.

My Dearest Barren,

Something happened today. I was on facebook, (not work related; I manage a facebook page as a Virtual Assistant) and BAM. My cousin is eight months pregnant and she looks amazing. She hardly looks six months pregnant. Her due date is late December. That's exactly where I should be. If I hadn't miscarried in April I would be eight months pregnant now. My heaven baby was due December 20th. The hurt is so very real and raw. Even though I feel God's immense love and grace over my heart I still want to cry my eyes out. I know God's reason for taking the baby was far more important than for us to keep the baby. It's been settled but why did this wave of sadness rush over me? Is it because I'm human and imperfect? Is it because I want to wallow in my heartache? Is it a little bit of all the above? Possibly. Am I a present day Peter when stepping onto the water couldn't keep her eyes on the Lord and His will in my life? Yes. Very much so.

For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;) Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord. 
Ephesians 5:8-10
We are the light my dearest Barren. Would God want me to cry over something that is settled? No  He would not. He expects me to trust Him with the situations in life, with the stormy sea. What is acceptable unto the Lord? Praising His great name for all my other blessings. Praising His name for all the grace, mercy and forgiveness He has shown me in all my flaws.
I challenge you, Barren, to give earnest praise to the good Lord for your blessings. Go to a quiet place, block out all distractions, and give your heart to the Lord for all that you have. I pray this will help your eyes to fixate on Lord and His will for your life. 

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