Ugly.

My dearest Barren,

We all have our own ugly. We wear it at different times and different places. We may keep it hidden in the blackness of our hearts and the deepest corner of our minds. I present to you a lamentation of my heart. This is my ugly. My struggle of multiple miscarriages back to back; my closing out of everyone; my anger towards God. This is a poem of my personal grief. Some of you may relate; some of you may not.
What is important is to learn from my mistakes. Yes time is a great healer but there is one who is greater yet. Turn your eyes toward the true Healer and Comforter. I felt betrayed by God for what happened so I reacted by closing up my heart to Him and stoking a legendary "redheaded" temper. It changed me forever and no matter how hard I try, I will never get back to the place I was before without God's mercy and grace. I am begging you, take your wounds before the throne and allow Him to heal you. He will do a much better job than you licking them.

And Where Do We Find Ourselves...
And where do we find ourselves?
Through the hurt
Through the anger
Through the pain
How do we find ourselves again, after a rain?
Through the fog
Through the mist
Through the dampness
How do we claim ourselves again?
Through the tears
Through the heartbreak
Through the sorrow
How do we regain ourselves again?
Through the sleepless nights
Through the meaningless lies
Through the façade and fake smiles
How do we become ourselves again?
Through the struggles
Through the empty feelings
Through the reminders of what was lost
Lost like the little piece of your heart
Gone forever in an abyss
Never to return.
Leaving you forever broken

Forever scared, to always wear it upon your heart.


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