My Barren Fruit

Today I needed a little more encouragement than usual. I thought I would share what I found with you.  "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls." Proverbs 25:28 It's true. I read this yesterday and I chewed on it for a while. What does ruling your spirit means? I believe it goes along with my last post of guarding your heart. I'll give you a little more insight of my life to maybe help.  I'm a redhead. Yup. Full blown ginger with green eyes. Nearly everyone will say the usual, 'bad tempers' and 'bad attitudes'. In reality, I've calmed down quite a bit in life and cut me some slack I have the odds against me. :)  It's very easy for me to get carried away with, well, anything. Although my temper isn't flaming hot all the time, its easy when something does make me mad to dwell on it. At this point many things make a situation worse and very few make it right.  Should I let thin...

My dearest barren, with the holidays coming around I would like to encourage you in the Lord. It's tough, our path, but the holidays always make it harder. Whether it be an idle comment or the gathering of family around the new baby your sister just had, all these things keep us under a cloud. Try as we may sometimes it gets the best of us. I wish I could tell you something that would take the pain away or to ease the aching you possess but I cannot. I struggle as you do. Everyday. I am learning this path as you are. I am simply trying to encourage you to keep a right spirit as I attempt to do. I want to discuss guarding your heart. It sounds pretty clear what that might mean. I wanted to dig deeper and find out what God has to say about it. "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23 This verse I will commit to memory. If we keep our hearts right with God, He will bless us. (It may be a stretch for some of you to take t...

I've been at odds searching for a topic to write about. It came to me yesterday.  Dying daily.  We all have heard the phrase and some of us may have read in the Bible about one of the great saints saying he "dies daily". For the longest time I did not know what he meant. What does it mean to die daily??  I believe the answer was revealed to me this week. Upon my journey of spiritual renewal and deepening my relationship with Jesus, I've learned a very important lesson.  I set myself aside to allow God to work through me. This is what it means to die daily. Sacrificing your feelings, your emotions, and your reactions to the world around you, pushing them aside you allow the Holy Spirit to fill you. It sounds odd and little bit self-centered when it's not. I'll give you an example. My work environment is stressful, not in a physical way but an emotional way. Lots of women in one office, many of which who like to talk and not always i...

I have waited all week for this post. No, I didn't forget and then have to scramble for something to write. I've planned this out. :)  I'm doing my morning readings in Proverbs. Most of us women think of Proverbs 31, which is a wonderful piece of Scripture, but I have found many golden treasures while reading through all of Proverbs. Today is Proverbs 30 as it is the 30th of October.  Proverbs 30:15-16  15: "The horseleach hath two daughters, crying, Give, give. There are three things that are never satisfied, yea, four things say not, It is enough:  16: The grave; and the barren womb; the earth that is not filled with water; and the fire that saith not, it is enough." Let me just start with testimony. For the longest time I prayed not to "want". Not to want pregnancy, feel a baby kick, experiencing birth, my own child, anything that had to due with pregnancy. It was foolish of me to pray that. I see that now. I cannot describe the peace I have s...

Something has been on my mind the last few days. It's what I like to call the "Struggle".  From time to time I get off track. When I get off track the world starts to get to me. I don't think I have to elaborate too much but I can give you some examples of how it started.  Example one: A family member is pregnant, which is wonderful and such a blessing, except to them. They have two small children already and the youngest is not yet a year old. So that leads us to this couple, married and such, complaining, yes complaining about being pregnant and not wanting so many children and the children being so close in age and so forth.  Let me tell you, it's hard. It's extremely hard. You know so as well. People taking for granted and complaining about one of the biggest blessing God can bestow upon them. It's hard not to let your flesh take over and then for you to be overcome and overrun by emotions. Since reading the article I posted I have been very careful...

Embracing. What do you think of when you hear the word? Most of us think of the physical touch, type of embrace.  The next stage of a barren fruit is embracing, which is only fulfilled by letting go and letting God. Only once you've learned to let go may you learn to embrace. Embracing can be just as intimidating as letting go. Since God's plans are greater than ours, embracing His plan may make you shake in your boots. What is expected of you is suddenly larger than you believe you can conquer.  Don't be afraid to embrace God's will in your life. In the bible the words, "don't be afraid," appears 365 times. God is literally giving us the power to be FEARLESS every day of the year. We should live fearless. We have the Almighty on our side and the Holy Spirit living inside each of us believers. There is no reason to fear.  Sometimes we let the world's fear control us. The fear of rejection, the fear of isolation and the fear of abandonment. Focus on...

Something I have been thinking about lately is letting go. I'm sure you have heard the phrase, "Let go and let God." Yeah, it's a little easier said than done.  One of my struggles have been letting go. Letting go of dreams I've conjured in my past, of control I think I have, and things I want.  Let me give you a some insight to my struggle. I have yet to carry a child full term and as of presently, children may never be in my future. Now for me that's a tough pill to swallow. I'm very hard-headed when it comes to things I want. I set my mind to it, well that's pretty much the end of it. I believe God is using this part of me, to either mold me or show me, I'm not sure which. But I know God has a plan for me. It's greater than the things of earth I desire. I know this to be true, for His ways are higher than mine and His thoughts are higher than mine.  As I mentioned before, I have always want children, to be a good mother and to spend most...

Today's post is about people's ignorance. Yes I said it. Most people speak without thinking. I'm guilty of this as well but by God's grace I'm learning discernment. It's easy to take an innocent comment as hurtful words. Our jobs as Christian women, barren or struggling, is to show those people who offend us grace & forgiveness. A prime example: Sunday at church I held my nephew. Nearly a year old he weighs close to 30lbs! As we took a song intermission to shake hands a sweet lady behind me says, 'He's heavy. It's good practice for you to strengthen your arms.' I smiled gently and replied, 'Yes he is.' I turned back around to continue singing. I checked my attitude then thanked God for church, His grace, the worship and for all the little ones He's place in my life to love. I didn't let an innocent comment ruin my day, send me on a downward spiral, ruin my attitude and most importantly let it ruin my worship. I didn't...

My journey as a married Christian woman has been laid with many trial and hardships. This may come as no surprise to most of you. We can say my married life has been unconventional and nontraditional. Ever since I was a little girl, I've dreamed of having a yard full of children. I don't mean I wanted one boy and one girl. No. I wanted a minimum of seven, yes seven children. Did I mention I wanted boys? I wanted all boys save one. Weird as it may be, this is exactly what I wanted for as long as I can remember.  Once I was married I wanted to start having children right away. Part of my "plan" was to have all my children at a young age so that I wouldn't be age sixty watching my oldest child graduate.  I believe God has other plans.  It became very hard for me to except the reality. I may never have children as I have always dreamed.  It was harder yet watching all my extended family being granted the things which I desired most. The things which I've f...